Holy Cow I am 32!

Man were has the time gone. I approached 32 better than I did when I was coming up to 30. I was fine with 30, kept telling myself it is just a number who cares. Then the week of 2 years ago, I dreaded my birthday. Plus ALOT of CRAP was going on in my personal life. Seems like everything that could happen, did. But with my amazing friends, many tears, and God never leaving my side. I came through that bad storm of CRAP.

This year I had minor meltdown one day. I was touchy, hence pissy when Ryan would try to have fun with me. I would litterally bite his head off. He made me open up and I told him that I wish my mom was here to celebrate my birthday. Or just to talk to her. I told him, I know you don't understand what I am going through and that you think I need to "get over this." I said I will never get over this. I will just learn to move past it, learn how to deal. I also told him, I might have a few more meltdowns in the years to come. He said that is fine. I told him lastly that other than my good friends, he is the only one I can talk to about this. I don't feel right talking to my family about how i am feeling with my mom's death, cause they then turn it on themselves and how they are feeling. Not what I need at the time.

But Ryan gave me a big hug, and I cried on his shoulder. He said I know I may not understand what you are going through. Since you were closer, much closer, with your mom than I am with mine. I said I know that. I said I will try, but it has gotten better than the year she died. When I would cry with just seeing a commercial or Pastor speaking in his sermon or a song played church or on the radio.

I can honestly tell you I am better now. Now back to the topic at hand. My birfday! ;)

For all you who aren't on facebook, this is what Ryan got me.


Aren't they pretty? He asked me if I was suprised. I said nope. He goes then, "maybe I will stop getting you roses or flowers." I said, " then you will have one not so happy woman on your hands." I also said, I new I was getting roses, just didn't know what color I would be getting. That is the suprise. He goes, "Oh okay."

This is were we went for supper that night.


Very amazing food! I even got a $5 gift certificate for it being my birthday. Woo hoo!

This is the last installment of my birthday. Technically I did it for Ryan, but he says it is for me. Since I complain to him about not going to plays or musicals with me. So here we go. Hell must be freezing over! ;) hahahahaha!


We are going to the PAC Saturday afternoon at 2. Can't wait! Should be fun!

Talk to you all soon! Sorry for the minor vent in the beginning. I needed it.
Jodes