Ryan and Jodie's Crazy Life! :): What an emotional roller coaster that I am on!

Man, I honestly thought that with my brother's wedding coming up was going to be a good healing time for me and all of us. Well, I can honestly say NOT! to that one. Friday when I was getting my nails done, and at the rehearsal I felt like something was missing. And obviously that person was missing. She was supposed to be there in person, not in spirit. Friday I was in a daze, and felt that way when we were getting ready on Saturday. I tried to snap out of it, but didn't work. Until I got distracted and forgot about it. Then it hit me at the ceremony. And she should have been in our family picture. It was only the four of us. Don't worry ladies, Ryan was not forgotten we got one taken at the hall of the five of us. With my persuasion on that one. I am a good girlfriend, future fiance, or future wife. Geez, there are times I feel like we are married, but then I remember nope we aren't. Not yet.

So if you happen to see me, I may look happy or smiley on the outside, but on the inside I am hurting to say the least. Last night was a bad night when I went to bed. I have been dealing with an issue the past couple days that I had to pray about last night. And with doing that, I broke down. Literally were I couldn't breathe. But I needed it, I feel like God gave me the answer and guidance that I needed. Which is good. You can ask me in the comments or in an email and I will tell you. I just don't want to get into it wit this blog entry. I might at a later date. A handful of you know what this issue and I am finally not conflicted or torn as I was before. Now I have probably got most of you intrigued, but that is okay. If you ask I will tell you.

So I am better after I talked to many wise people at church, friends, and family about this, and also feel better after a good cry. Isn't it amazing how refreshed one feels after a good cry? I can't believe it. I personally don't like to cry. It gets my eyes all red, and my nose extra stuffy and right now I don' need that. It is stuffed enough. Then it is hard to breathe and finish praying or talking when are having a good cry. But I will get better! It will just take time. It is still fresh and I am taking it one day at a time.

So on a lighter note, I will post a couple cute pictures from my brother's wedding this weekend. The rest of them are on my facebook page and I have copies with me in my car. Enjoy the snipets!