Where to start?

Let's see. Were do we start. Hmmm! I really can't remember what we have been up to. We have done so much, and we so much on our minds. That life kinda gets crazy at times. Like now! I know two weeks ago we went ice fishing for two straight days. The first day of ice fishing we caught nothing. The ice was thick, but i still freaked out. I do that every year. Even when we are sitting in our chairs on the ice, and you start to hear the rumbling of the ice. I mean loudly, especially when the trucks would drive by us. I was getting so mad at them for doing that. Byt Ryan told me to just relax. We aren't going to fall through. If we do we are better off here than we are if we are in the truck. He also said that if a big 2 ton truck ( i think that is what he said) can drive on the ice and not fall through. We are safe. And we were. Now onto what we caught. WE caught nothing. Not even a nibble.

Now onto day 2 of fishing. Sort of the same as day 1. We caught some big northerns and some bass, but nothing to keep. I mean bug Northerns were Ryan lost some plastic worms. Thankfully Ryan went there again the next day, so he could get back a plastic lure or two. From our friend tip-up fishing.

That night we after he was fishing, on a Saturday, we babysat for his co-worker's daughter. Let's just say, Oh My! But we had fun.

Ryan had to work 4 10 hour days last week starting on Wednesay until Saturday. So we really didn't do much that week. He just rested and I took care of him. Last Saturday we met my brother and SIL at a bar to have drinks with him for his birthday. Now my dad, my family next door to me, and one of my cousin's along with a handful of my brother's friends were there as well. We had fun. I had to drive my Beloved home last weekend. Sunday was church. We had a long day at church with Ryan ushering and me singing at 8am service, then we went to Education Hour, and then we sat around in the youth room during second service. Until it was time for our board of youth meeting. After our meeting Ryan and I went to Applebee's for lunch. We did the 2 for $20 meal. I had Double Crunch Shirmp, Ryan had 9 oz sirloin. Our appetizer was Mozzarella Sticks. I had to take a doggy bag home of fries and shrimp.We were for flipping hungry by the time we left our meeting. We started watching the Jets and then we both decided to take a much needed nap. He on the couch, and me in his bed. We REALLY were tired. Then we started watching the ending of the Jets/Colts game. Meaning the Jets losing. Hahahaha!

Then it was time for the Viking/Saints game. While doing that we ate the rest of what I had for lunch at Applebee's. And we both drank a lot of water. I also started doing Wii Fit Plus at the Johnson's house.

This week is low key and Saturday we have to go GB for a wedding from our really good friend from college. Can't wait. We will have fun. That is about it for now.

Until next time! God's blessing!!!!!
Jodes

Today is a day of rememberance!

Wow were did the year go? To me it seemed like yeasterday we were going to the hospital everyday to see mom, getting updates everyday we went there, and updates on the phone when we weren't there. Also, having meetings with her team of doctors, spending time with the nurses taking care of her, and telling my mom everyday how much she is loved, and to try to get her to relax so she can rest. I can honestly tell you I am 100% healed from her death. Not even close. I do though have good days and bad days. I seem to be having more bad days right now, than good. Especially when my dad and I are sitting at night talking. We talk about when my mom was in the hosptial and I start to get teary eyed. I tell him I still feel guilty for being mad at her before she got sick. And he keeps telling me not to think that way and that she forgives me.

Okay everyone can tell me that all they want, but it is easier said than done. I still beat myself up about it, about what I said to her and how I left things. I really am trying to get past that, but it is hard.

Onto today. It is hard. Today or tonight is when she died at Theda Clark. So I am thinking of going down to her grave. But not sure yet. It is kinda cold outside and brisk. I might just wait until there is no below zero wind chill. I have her picture to look at and the many memories of her in my head. Tonight will be spending it with Ryan. He knows what today is so he is prepared for me to have meltdowns. Tonight we will be watching my cousin's kids, playing and having fun, and trying to get my mind off of what today is. Talk to you all soon! See most of you at church tomorrow.

Jodes