Has it really been almost 2 years?

I keep asking myself that. I can't believe that it has been almost 2 years since my mom has died. I was thinking yesterday when I was at church, that going to Colony Oaks with Pastor, Ryan, and the youth was going to be hard. Well, it was actually good. I did okay! I did better than I thought I would. I helped the kids get comfortable around them. Since Ryan and I have had ample experience with that part. Thank you mom! So when we were singing Christmas Carols, there was this lady in the front row, that I swear reminded me of my mom. She just starred at me, and smiled. Really all I had to was when they looked at me, I smiled, and they smiled. We so brightened up their days. It made me feel good. Many said Merry Christmas to us. And loved seeing the kids there. We, mine and Ryan's group, raided the lunch room. Then walked down the hall we were assigned. I swear we get the same hall every year. But that is okay. We gave a card to those who weren't in the lunch room. And wow was it HOT in there. I had my coat on and my sweater. Ugh I thought I was going to pass out. It felt good to be outside. But I understand why they keep it so warm.

Now back on track. I am actually doing pretty good. I am just concerned about my dad. I could tell last night he was not in a good mood. See yesterday 2 years ago to the date, she went into the hospital. I only cried mildly thinking of that lady at Colony Oaks. But Ryan has no clue I had tears in my eyes. My dad is better today though. I am slowly decorating the tree with the ornaments that HAVE to go on the tree every year. Man we have a lot of ornaments. At least I was smart enough last year to put the ones that we always use, in one box. I am smart.

Christmas I think will be better this year. I hope. I am better than last year. Way too much went down last year. Ryan leaves Thursday in the morning to go to Milwaukee, get his mom, then head they head to Chicago for Christmas with his sister Renee. He will be coming home Christmas Day sometime, so hopefully I can see him that day. If not we will see each other at church the following day, then have Bible Study, have our Christmas, and then go to my grandma's for Christmas at her place with all my family. My BIG family. I have a new baby second cousin I can't wait to meet, and then another one on the way. His name is Isaiah. My other cousin is having a little girl. I can't wait to meet her also. I mean I can wait, I don't want her to go in labor early. I think she is due in March. Oh! And a friend of mine is having another baby also. She is due in January. Can't wait to meet that little one also. A new year with 2 new little people. What more can a person ask for?

I am really doing okay though! I just want to say Merry Christmas everyone! Hugs and kisses to all my amazing freinds and family. I love you all! And thank you all for always being there when I need it.

Love,
Jodes