Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Yesterday!

First of all! Thank you to everyone who sent me an email or text message telling me they were thinking of me yesterday. Meant a lot to me about that. For some of you that didn't know. Yesterday was my mom's birthday, so I was kind of in a craptastic mood. After labs yesterday, I went to Gary's Flowerland and picked up four stems of daisies. Her favorite flower. I got white and yellow. So when I got home, my dad put this green stuff, the stuff that soaks up water so you don't have to water them into the top of a CD case lid. Worked perfectly. No tipping over. Then he arranged the flowers for me. Around lunch time, my aunt came to get me, we went down to the cememtary to see her and wish her a happy birthday. I put the flowers on her left shoulder so they wouldn't blow away. Man it was cold yesterday. But when I was there, a big gust of wind came. Kind of felt weird that she was telling that I was going to be fine, and that she is looking over me as my guardian angel. Typing that last part really made it hard to see the keys. Damn tears.

Then my aunt and I went to town to pick up her sister, drop her off at her apartment, then we went out for lunch. Came home sat for about a minute or four. Then called to see what my labs were.

Now, my craptastic mood went from that to over joyed. My labs came back awesome. My creatnine is back down to 1.7 which is what it was 3 weeks ago. Which I do know it will come down even more with the prednisone I am one, and with the Iv treatment I am getting. So it will be back down to my base range. Woo Hoo! Then I called my dad at work to let him know my results. He was so relieved. As was I.

So then Ryan called, I packed up my 6 pm pills, my blood sugar meter with the insulin incase I needed to do that. Then went over there. I spent the rest of the day with my rock. Really he helped me through yesterday as well. Just with him listening to me talk about my mom, put his arm around me and let me cry on his shoulder. I mean I can cry right now with a stupid commercial. Not cool. Last Wednesday morning in the hospital was bad. I had a complete meltdown. I was freaked being in the hospital. Never was in a hospital last until my mom died. But the positive thing after her death, was Ryan and I went down to see Little Miss Mallory. Which was hard walking into that hospital, but I did it. Just didn't have to walk to the ICU at all. Thank God! I got to hold a baby.

But I will be fine. Easter will be hard, but I have my family around, and Ryan keeps telling me. Which is true. His family is here. So that helps a lot as well. I love his mom, dad, and sister. They are awesome. I can't wait for his mom and dad to meet my dad, Jeremy, and Melissa. That will be fun times. We will have endless laughter and good talks. They will all fit in and get along great. Lunch will be fun on Saturdy. So I am in a better mood. It just comes and goes. So have a happy Holy Week.

Love,
Jodes

3 comments:

Melissa said...

I am glad that you got that great news yesterday! What a blessing that was. Take it easy and I'll see you Wednesday!

Jenny said...

I am so happy your labs were great. It was a sign from your mom that things will be fine and that she is looking over you.

I can't imagine how hard yesterday must have been for you. You are a strong person!

Jodes said...

Thanks Jen! Going to the grave was hard, but my aunt came with me. And Ryan told me that he was there to help me last night. I really do have a good guy. Eventhough I want to trade him some days. But that is just all men. Right? But I wouldn't trade him in. He is mine forever. Easter will be okay, Mother's Day will suck, and everything else will suck for a while. Just imagine not being able to talk to your mom at all ever, hugging her, giving her a kiss, listening to her, and doing things with her. That is what I am going through. Missing all the little moments. Even when she pi$$ed me off. I miss her smile and laugh. I miss calling her when I am in the or was in the hospital. I used to do that. I used to call her when I was in Madison alone. That is why she raised me the way I am, to have amazing friends like you to help me through this.